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Tuesday, September 1, 2009
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Smiling...
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....so this is how it goes for me.../
Once again it seems I got another sad story /
Well...not sad, more like real life... /
But through it all, I still have to give God glory.. /
I don't exactly know what it is I do /
With every person, i've been nothing but true /
...Maybe a little too true... /
So now I'm messed up again, not sure what to do /
There's no real topic, this is just on my heart /
I've always wanted somebody who liked me from the start /
Somebody I can mutually agree with/
Maybe on the silly tip, but someone i can kick it with /
It seems that it's more distant the more I strive for it /
Looking for someone to fit me, its evident /
Now that it's affecting me so I can't even think/
peacefully, but out loud you'll never hear a reply for it... /
I'm not saying that it'll never happen, but /
I pray to God that He plans on me being alive for it /
So I keep my questions and concerns in my storage /
But the ideas bang against my brain until it turns into porridge...
And soon...here I am again... /
It's like a cycle... got some new friends... /
We hang out for a few, this could get interestin'.../
Situation arises, and suddenly I'm stressin... /
And for me, all of my stores intertwine together /
So my situation changes like bipolar weather /
So whether I'm at work or at school or alone /
Somehow some way it happens, it's whatever... /
Heart's a little on my sleeve, and it pokes out /
Easy to grab, easier to choke out /
I don't love people, I just get involved /
Then emotions evolve and then all of a sudden /
They dont feel nothin' at all, I guess when it all /
falls down, the only one I can call is.... /
Besides God, I guess nobody... /
Most emotions i keep hidden so they dont know about me... /
Unless it's the situations like these... /
I jump all in, I do it with such ease.. /
But at the same time, I keep my emotional distance /
Because I'm thinking 'bout the last person who did this /
Damage to my spirit, it's like someone speared it /
The attacker was schitzo, the real feelings reared it's /
Head and refused to stop till it was dead /
Leaving red, calling herself the female Judge Dread... /
...IT's messed up, I guess I hope for the best /
But as far as fact and truth, I ignore it i guess /
And JUST when I think that's things are what they seem /
the scene changes and everything's revealed to be a dream.../
I guess for me, it's kind of ignorant /
To try to make a current situation seem heavensent /
When it's evident my emotions are irrelevant /
...and that's the exact reason I've remained celibate... /
Lost one girl because I would give it to her... /
Lost another one because I wouldn't do it twice... /
Lost a good friend because I wanted to be more... /
and she didn't until I had moved on...nice... /
One girl turned out to be a whore... /
One girl turned out to be crazy.. /
My last girl, we're friends to the end but /
I couldn't tell if she was real, or if she played me... /
...so I guess it's true what they say 'bout reality.../
The good girls want a dude with a huge salary... /
Maybe not, but I can't even get mad /
If a girl happens to catch feeling for a dude /
And the dude is retarded, doesn't realize until later he /
loved the girl, and she runs back, makes me sad.../
It's situations like that... /
That'll make a good guy turn bad... /
But not me, I'm not the type /
I'm not gonna change at all, I know I'll find Ms. Right /
and she might not be da bomb, or even the hottest /
But I'll be her King, and she'll be my Goddess.../
Some days sunshine loses to rain...
But I've learned a long time ago to smile through the pain.../
That way, you never let them see you sweat /
And after this, I'll never say it again, that's a bet... /
I refuse to dwell on this anymore. That's that. I'm done.
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posted by Secret.
5:32 PM
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